CAUTION: Amateurs and Professionals are hereby warned that ROLLOVER OTHELLO is fully protected by the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. ROLLOVER OTHELLO exists on file at the copyright office of the Library of Congress in Washington D.C. Permission for public readings, productions or any reproduction of same must be secured in writing by the author.
An early version of ROLLOVER OTHELLO was nominated for a Pushcart prize as published in Oasis 5.1 (July-Sep. 1996). A revised, updated version was subsequently published in Spot Literary Magazine 2.2 (Fall 2008).
Rollover Othello
© Susan Hansell
Oth
Desdie
I
Opening: An Interrogation Room; Oth, cuffed, in a chair.
Oth: Oth. Othello. My name’s Othello, ok? What? Hey. I am what I am. HO. Yeahyeah. THE BLACKS ARE COMING THE BLACKS ARE COMING. Fuck your stupid ignorances. Five hundred years of North South North South North South. Huh? Blaze away, the sun… The son. THERE’S A HOLE IN THE ATMOSPHERE, OK? DOESN’T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? Idiot fuckholes. Mad cuz you ain’t getting’ any.
OTHELLO, OK? O-thell-o. Other Fellow. Yeah. How do you THINK I feel? To you. Ha. Some crusty old shell of a black ram. Right. To you. What difference can it make? Given the Carbon. Dioxide Monoxide Methane. Morons. I MADE LOVE to her. She- What’s it to you? THE HOLE IN THE ATMOSPEHERE, MAN. WHY DON’T YOU GET IT?
What do you want from me? “I be-eth down-eth for-eth thou-est war-eth”? Right turn. Ask Donald Trump where I was born, man. He collected the rent. Coney Island. HA. Say it ain’t so, bro. Brooklyn. Sure. I know war, chavalo.
See. I’ll tell you how it was policitos. She looked into my eyes, ese. She looked deep into my true-to-life stories. She saw the cross, the pass, the jump at the fence, the choppers. She took her clothes off TO ME. She suffocated WITH ME. In the back of that U-Haul. Yeah. I dodged a bullet. I chucked a hatchet. I chopped my share of heads. Staked to a post. The botha us. Somewhere. South. Fuck it, THE WHOLE GLOBE. It’s hot in here, man. Don’t you get it?
History. What she learned, she cried over. I admit I found that… mmm… stimulating. No, fuck you. She moved me. So pure, man. Oxygen. This dumb beautiful girl, man. No one ever cared like that. AND WHAT A MAN DOES TO IT. Our holes. Shitholes. It’s a man’s world. Funny. Yeah. I dunno. Maybe I was jus’ followin’ that cardinal-man-rule: Never have sex with a woman who has more problems than you do.
It is what it is, yo. But she was. Different. Together. We got shot through with salt-pellets. The federales shoot it, man. DON’T YOU KNOW? That stuff stings.
Enter: Desdie, in a little black dress.
Desdie: Yabbayabbayabba the bronze age. Yabbayabbayabba conquistadores and slavery. Yabbayabbayabba the sears tower. Yabbayabbayabba your little dick heads. Your (ha-ha) awareness. Men. Dope fiends. YOU ARE ALL UNCONSCIOUS. My own father had no idea. Never bold, my desires. What a joke. Ecosystems. OxyMorons. In this day and age.
Look. We’re in our living room now, Oth. Furniture from Levitz. And cLarity begins @home. BUT NO. *you have an eye, it’s an image* That’s all. Men see only what they want to see. Only what they want to believe. Already. What they think. Great mathematicians. Great whatever. HA. Alla ya’ll can be fooled by one good drag queen. Why? Cuz ya only see what ya wanna see. REALITY DOES NOT FACTOR, OK? Prime. PRI-IME. Yeah. Ye-ah. Murderers. Blind as a stump. Stick it in your own holes. Terrorists. Put your own lips together. Smacksmack. ‘N do the hokey-pokey while yer at it. Ha Ha Ha.
Long pause; Desdie lights a cigarette.
Oth: Yeah. Uh. Still. We had some fun. Didn’t we. We had some good times. Des?
Desdie smokes; long pause.
Desdie: The best of the beast with two backs.
Desdie laughs. Then they both laugh. Then Desdie smokes some more.
Oth: You can untie me now. I’ve learned my lesson.
Desdie: I’ve got nothin’ to do with that.
Pause.
Oth: Oh. So. WhatRya doin’ here?
Desdie: You mean you don’t know?
Oth: Naw.
Desdie: Hmm. You oughta.
Pause.
Oth: It’s nice to see you.
Desdie: Yeah sure.
Oth: I missed you.
Pause.
Oth: So. Howyabeen?
Desdie: I’m dead. Remember?
Oth: Sorry.
Pause.
Desdie: *From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars / Govern a life*, man.
Pause.
Oth: That’s true.
Desdie snorts.
Oth: Ohkay ohKay. You’re right. I’m givin’ ya that.
Desdie: I’m not blamin’ya, ya big baby.
Oth: Does that mean you forgive me?
Desdie: Awww. (beat) Forget about it.
Oth: Yeah?
Long pause. Desdie shrugs.
Oth: You’re my guru, baby.
Pause.
Desdie: (mildly) Shut up.
Desdie grinds out cigarette with the heel of her pump.
Desdie: But no more Miss Sheltered Nice Girl in your dang man’s-freakin’-world. Duh. The names you called me. Yeah, I saw the whole thing. I can read. HonestIago. Honest honest honest honest honest Iago. Honesthonest Iago. HA. Yackety schmackety. YOU NEVER DOUBTED HIM. Idiot. What did you care about, huh? Really, huh? Only the possibility that you might be a G.D. cuckold. Whatever that means. Oink. How egotistical is that? How mid-evil is that? Ha. Pig. And on this swine-o-meter, you’re off the scale, MON.
Oth: YOU DECIEVED YOUR OWN FATHER DIDIN’T YOU HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. (pause) It could happen.
Pause.
Desdie: It didn’t.
Pause.
Oth: What do you want me to do, Desdemona? You’re never satisfied. I don’t think it makes any difference what I tell you. Or what I say to you. You’re always gonna be dredgin’ up the past. No matter what I do. I can’t win.
Desdie: YOU KILLED ME YOU ASSHOLE I’M DEAD.
Long pause.
Oth: Well. I’m dead too.
Desdie: Yeah. For some paranoid fantasy you never bothered to check out. Honest honest Iago. Fuck you.
Pause.
Oth: At least I was a man about it. When I realized the full situation, I stabbed myself through the heart. I think you should give me that.
Desdie: Bang bang. We’re dead. Another strategy. And now what? Huh? Gotta go kill somebody? Duh. Get mad at the right people for once, ok? JEEEEEEEEEEZE. EVE IS A MYTH, ok? Yeah. Some paradise. I followed YOU, remember? Didn’t I? Family. Big deal. What do the words mean? What did I mean? To you. To anything? (she sighs) Action, babe. Action.
Oth: Hey. I was the outsider, baby. I was the one judged 4 that.
Desdie: Only daddy hated U for the race thing. Everybody else needed you. Wanted you.
Oth: NOT TRUE.
Pause.
Desdie: Men. Whata pathetic buncha whiners. Everyone of yous wants to fuck your mother, blame some girl, and believe every freakin’ thing every freakin’ GUY says. Honesthonest Iago. Give me a freakin’ break here. Ya’ll swallowed everything he freakin’ pumped out. Christ. He’s the one you’re in love with. It’s YOUR lips pressed together. Assholes. HA. Faithful to each other. Yeah. That’s it. Hahaha. Men. I was gonna ask why. Why why why why why why why. But I answered my own G.D. question. Ya’ll jus’ wanna believe each other. G.D. cowpoke smacks. Yuckyuck male bonding crapola. HAaaaaaaaa! The sears-freakin’-tower. It’s not even the biggest no more. Some guy in Singapore or Dubai went and built a bigger one. HA-HA. That’s progress. Let’s-make-A-freakin’-Deal. It’s BEEN written, ok? WE ALREADY KNOW. So. WhatRwe waitin’ 4? I know! The re-runs. Yeah. That was a good one alright. *sarcasm* Glad I didn’t miss it. Shit.
Long pause.
Oth: So it makes no difference. Nothing we do changes or matters. Nothin’ I do counts for shit, and there’s nothin’ I can do to fix that. So let’s get outta here. I loved you. I still love you. That’s gotta count for somethin’. Now come on. Come over here and unlock me.
Long pause.
Desdie: Don’t got the key.
Oth: Huh?
Desdie: DON’T GOT THE FREAKIN’ KEY.
The longest pause.
Oth: Then come over here anyway.
Long pause.
Oth: Come on.
Pause.
Oth: Girl.
Pause.
Oth: Come on.
Pause.
Oth: Please.
Long pause.
Oth: No way can I be dead. Not with this hard-on. God. Gigantic. Girl. Get over here. Do you know what case of blueballs I got for you? Come on. Do you know. God. (pause) I wanna eat you out so bad.
Desdie laughs.
Oth: God. I wanna stick my tongue so far into you. Girl. Then I’m gonna suck your clit ‘til I make you come. Hard. And then I’m gonna flip you over and wrap myself inside you, and fuck you good. You like it doggiestyle, Des. I remember.
Desdie giggles.
Desdie: You cuffed to a chair, remember?
Pause.
Oth: Then come over here and sit on me. We’ll work it out.
Desdie giggles.
Desdie: Nope.
Oth: You could do a lot worse.
Desdie: Uh uh.
Oth: Please.
Pause.
Oth: I’ll be gentle.
They both laugh.
Oth: Come over here.
Desdie: No.
Oth: Come on.
Desdie: Your hands.
Oth: So.
Desdie: So I’m not lettin’ you touch me.
Oth: Come on. We’re together again. It’s a sign.
Desdie: Yeah. A sign over the morgue.
Oth: Girl. You call the shots. Just come over here.
Desdie: Not here. Look at this place.
Oth: It’s where we’re at. If nothin’ else, think of it as a distraction.
Desdie: In your fantasy world.
Oth: So tell me yours.
Desdie: Tell you my what.
Oth: Your fantasy. What’s your fantasy, Desdie?
Desdie: Oh I don’t know. Leave me alone where are we. I wanna know what’s goin’ on. I don’t wanna play no more surrenderingly acceptingly sickeningly sweetly nicely girlie role-ies. Understand?
Long pause.
Oth: Sure. (pause) I must be in hell.
Desdie: Hell.
Oth: Yeah. Look for a key.
Desdie: A key. Right. That’s another romantic notion.
Oth: For the cuffs! C’mon. Look. It’s gotta be one around here somewhere.
Pause.
Desdie: Nah. (gently) Already looked.
Oth: Ya did?
Desdie: Uh huh.
Oth: Nah. Ya didn’t.
Desdie: DID TOO.
Pause.
Oth: You do love me.
Desdie: Of course I do you moron. That is, I do and I don’t.
Oth: Exactly. Hell. So what are YOU doin’ here Miss Goody-2-Shoes? You did nothin’ wrong.
Pause.
Desdie: (doubtfully) True.
Pause.
Oth: C’mon, Des. Get me outta here.
Desdie: I can’t OK? I’m NOT holdin’ out on you. I never did. Now whatRya gonna do? Kill me again? Go kill yerself again? Don’t make me laugh. (she laughs) But it doesn’t matter. Cuz I must be haunting you. And I’m sorta getting’ into the dream-like symbolic interpretive powers of these here situational psycho-conflicts. OK?
Oth: Don’t go Freudian on me now girl. This isn’t real. It can’t be. (pause) Tell me this ain’t real, Des.
Desdie: Nothin’s real. I already told you that! You’re not real. I’m not real. LUV is not real. Especially not luuuuuuuuvvvvvvv. In 1595; in 2095. It never meant dick. Or it only meant dick. Don’t say it. “Here we go again.” Same old chingadera. *You have a hole, it’s a poultice* Shithead. What do you want me to do? Clean the toilets? Clean all the freakin’ toilets across the whole wide world? Huh? Huh? What should we do? Martyr me? Martyr you? Everyone? EVERYTHING STAYS. It’s the same old shit. Rip up all the goddamn pages of all the goddamn calendars, for all time, OK? It won’t change a goddamn thing. The second you get unleashed again, I’ll love you again, and then it’s just a mattera time before you’re riled up enough to kill me again. Sigh. You ‘n me. In the beginning. We are who we are. Yeah. And I let you. Right? And I love you. Right? (pause) Right. To the end.
Long pause.
Oth: Desdemona. A name I could never have. Named. Desdemona. (pause) You were the unknown to me. Farther away than all the world’s oceans. Desdemona. Weeks at storm with every leviathan was the abyss I fell into. I never had a girl so. Raised to smile and dance and play and the white light of your face. Desdemona. It was my fault. I admit it. Does it make a difference? (pause) More maddening than any rebel with an uzi was the idea of another man having that. You. What I had. You. What was mine. Desdemona. (pause) If I’m sorry now, can it make a difference? (pause) What mud I raised myself out of. The daily slop. Stepping up to you. The glassy kisses. Ascent! Oh me. (pause) Will I make a difference? (pause) Des. You can still pull me outta this. You have to understand. (pause) To believe you were bangin’ some other guy and still dancin’ and smilin’ into my eyes. IT WAS TO BELIEVE ALL FALSE. (pause) And there went my world. (long pause) I needed more than war after you. (pause) I needed. You.
Long pause.
Desdie: It makes a difference.
They look at each other. Desdie moves slowly to Oth. They embrace.
Enter, I.
Long pause.
I: The months away at sea can make a man. Or take him. Remember graduation from Boot. They showed that stupid movie. Beetle Juice. It was in the gymnasium. They put up bleachers. I sat in the back. Looked out over alla these men with shaved heads. A whole huge gymnasium fulla men with shaved heads turned in ONE DIRECTION. Those months at sea. Watching for the shore. YOU THINK NO ONE NOTICED? I noticed, I noticed. You think I’m too dumb to see these things? We’re not all officers; we don’t all pull rank. True. Tho I shoulda. I shoulda been. Stupid rich guys. Too retarded to see that us grunts might have a brain or two. Some of us do.
I am NOT what I am. Yeah. Re-read that one for awhile. While you’re takin’ yer next dump. Re-hear it. Re-think it. HA. You HAD everything. But I took you down. Yeah. I took you home, man. Bitchin’. It was alla mattera brains, you slime-mass fuckwad of FEELINGS. Waaaa-waaaa-waaaa. Nobody with half’a pea or over’s gonna NOT notice. Me there. Me. ME. Me there jerkin’ your chains. Yeah you big nigger to your guts. HA. She’s right about one thing. You coulda just out’n asked the lady. Or anyone for that matter. But I knew you wouldn’t. You HAD to trust me. We watched those movies together. Yeah. Those too. The comradeship of a good rape. In a man’s world. Women ARE the edge. Falling.
Sure, in a port-town, any girl’ll let ya take yer picture with ‘em. “N maybe somethin’ else too. But after awhile, you notice they’re not all cute. Maybe you get rolled on pay-day. Or pick up the clap. The human animal. But a classy girl’s outta your league. And here’s the catch, Othello. You were so used to tricks, you expected it to be the same. The curse of the John. The woman is never after YOU. Cocksucker. This lady was different.
But I knew. You wouldn’t see your own… predi-lic-tions. HA. In our man’s world. We HAVE to believe. You HAD to believe me. We took the shit-n-piss-n fuckin’ purple ooze of fuckin’ fear together. ‘N you enjoyed it way too much. The ones of us who DIDN’T go chicken never loved it like that. The way you fuckin’ cussed into the enemy’s flamethrowers, bareheaded, drunk on every last gush of some poor slob’s splattering brains. Never a thought for the grave. Ever. Yours, his, hers. And that’s how I knew, finally. You weren’t cold enough or smart enough to know we don’t all have the fuckin’ instinct, man. We don’t all wanna serve the beast. For some of us, it’s a job.
Me? You frickin’ bought it, man. And I noticed. How we HAD TO rely. HAD TO trust. In this man’s world. We risk death. Some of us become death. I am what I am. But it was enough to see you fall. Yeah, I did it. Cool. What a coup. I shot the sheriff, man. I rocked the order. I pissed on the big tree. I made my mark.
It was all I could hope for.
It was all I could have.
Silence.
Curtain.
Textual notes on Rollover Othello: Italicized words in the text of Rollover Othello are from the Spanish and/or Spanish derived (Spanglish). The two asterisked multi-word lines are from Sylvia Plath’s “Words” or “The Applicant” in Ariel, (Harper 1965). An early version of Rollover Othello was published by Neal Storrs in Oasis.
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